If you are reading this post, then there is no doubt that you have lost a beloved pet. While I am not a pet grief counselor nor do I specialize in this area, I have mourned the loss of each pet. Animals are family to me and I’m certain most, if not all of you who are reading this article, feel the same way.
My hope here is that you’ll be better prepared for the eventual loss of your pet. This way you’ll also be able to grieve in a way that helps you to release any guilt as well while helping your children and/or your remaining pets to better go through the grieving process.
MINDSETS
In 2012 I lost my beautiful, young Great Dane, Meshach. One day in 2016 when I was out walking the same path that I used to walk with him a memory of him came flooding back to me because of the scenery I noticed. This is what I wrote about that: “Yesterday morning on my walk with my Carolina Dog, Schatzie, I was deep in thought and prayer. I happened to glance to my left and noticed a certain hill…it was the same one my sweet Meshach used to dash up with sheer, unbridled delight. I had to squat down and simply allow the sorrow of his loss to wash over me. My amazing girl Schatzie sat by me with my arm about her, as I allowed myself to embrace the entire scene and moment remembering him.”
I didn’t have my dog Schatzie when Meshach passed away, so she was simply supporting me in my grief as the very good friend she was. I didn’t try to stop the grief, I allowed it to flow through me and released it into the very same area that I enjoyed so much with Meshach, and later with Schatzie. It brought healing and peace to my heart in that moment. I think the hardest thing about losing our pets initially are the memories that come upon us at any given moment. I’ve learned to allow myself to simply embrace the grief, allow it to flow out of me and then release it so I can treasure all the good the memories which always far outweigh the sad ones.
Something else I’ve learned is that when our pets are sick and we know they most likely will not recover no matter what we are doing, we can honor them with hospice care. Not all countries and areas have this type of care, but I’m still sharing in case you do have access to this. Hospice care is offered under the guidance of a veterinarian so that your pet can be allowed to pass when they are ready. The veterinarian will provide guidance for you in the process, possibly pain medication if needed, plus they are on call for you. Additionally, they come to your home to help your pet pass away rather than in a clinic or hospital. This way, your children and remaining pets can be with the pet who is passing so they too can say goodbye. The service I contacted is called Pet Loss at Home, but there are now a variety of these services available here and around the world. While we didn’t have the opportunity to use their services as it was simply too late at that point, we did gather great information from them to be better prepared in the future. These veterinarians are very kind and considerate as they understand the grieving process.
Something I’ve taught others also, is rather than cry and mourn around your pet while they are still alive, do the opposite. Be joyful, happy, and encouraging to them, speaking life over them rather than death. I’ve seen pets get well rather than die as a result! There are studies proving that our attitudes and words matter this much.
MY PERSONAL PROCESS
In 2011 when we lost our Neapolitan Mastiff, Shadrach, this became the process which we have done for each of our dogs. This is simply how I am able go through the loss. My hope in sharing this is simply to help you find your unique way of bringing closure for your own loss. This can be something as simple as bouncing a ball against a backyard wall (as I did when we lost our Golden Retriever as it was one of his favorite games to play) or singing a favorite song you sang to your pet. If your pet dies suddenly, this process can still help you.
- My husband and I have each of our pets cremated. We keep their urn and a pawprint impression taken at the veterinary clinic of their paw as keepsakes.
- We also save a special toy and their collar that we put with their urn.
- I write a blog post sharing our journey so that others can benefit from it and gain insights from all that transpired.
- I create a Memorial Page for each pet where I share all the condolences I receive and anecdotes about each one to show just how much each one has meant to us. I also share photos, videos, and audio clips as well. My last several dogs are listed on this page so you can go to each page if you so desire.
- I have a photo book created to help us easily look through when the loss hits us during hard moments of grieving.
- Artists have generously gifted us paintings of our pets as well. With our dog, King, who passed away in December 2024, we commissioned a beautiful needle felting recreation of him by a wonderful artist who specializes in this for pet loss. You can learn more about this on my dog King’s Memorial Page.
I allow myself to cry as often as needed to release the grief I am feeling. I sing the songs I made up about the pet I am missing. I also apply a specific essential oil blend that helps with grief as often as needed. This is my personal grieving process.
In addition, I use natural remedies (such as herbal tinctures) to help any remaining pet with their grief as well. They are missing their friend just as we are. We may be their closet human companions, but they are missing the companionship of one of their own kind which does bring them grief. That’s why it’s so important to allow them to be with the one passing if it is at all possible for you to do so. They need to know their friend isn’t returning.
While none of these things will ever bring our beloved pet back to us, it has been very helpful for us to have these rituals and keepsakes to better go through the process of the loss of their physical presence.
We can release all our heartache and hurt while being grateful we had them in our lives in this process. This way we can receive all they gave to and taught us. That is how we can honor their memory.
Kim Bloomer, V.N.D., N.D. is an animal naturopath as well as being certified in small animal nutrition, with years of experience in animal wellness. Dr. Kim is a published author, writer, and blogger. Subscribe to her DOGgone Newsletter for updates or to her blog via email. Copyright ©2005-2025 Aspenbloom Pet Care, Dr. Kim Bloomer, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of the Author/Publisher. This article is intended to be educational. However, it is not intended to be a substitute for diagnosis or treatment from a qualified animal health professional. Dr. Kim Bloomer and Aspenbloom Pet Care, do not assume any legal responsibility for misuse of the products discussed in this article. The only essential oils referenced on this website are Young Living.
